jewassicpark:

“pass me a joint”

i rip off my arm, crying as i pass the detached extremity to my friend 

(Source: joshfrancesgay)

sweat-tears-ocean:

baz0oper:

sweat-tears-ocean:

“You can’t eat this it’s made of baby cow hooves”

“oh your tired hahah it’s cause you don’t get enough iron”

“but if you were on an island all alone with a juicy t-bone…”

“So do you still give head?”

do people actually ask the last one

Yep, got asked it yesterday. And the sad thing is people think it’s actually a good question and begin to rationalise why you can/cannot